Say what you want about Valentine’s Day, but at this point it’s become unavoidable. Popular culture, your local drug store and your partner (both sexes are equally guilty) instill the importance of the Hallmark holiday as the end-all be-all of romantic dates on the calendar.

For folks who can’t stand all the sappy love games, suck it up. You may feel sheepishly unoriginal or love sick come Valentine’s Day, but we’ve come up with a list of films that transcend the genre and will get even the non-romantics in the mood for February 14.

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
Director: George Armitage

As a stalwart of romantic comedies that can appeal to nearly all viewers, none of John Cusack’s gushing oeuvre has been more subversive or genuinely lovable than Grosse Pointe Blank, aka the one where a hitman goes to his high school reunion and wins back Minnie Driver after slaughtering Dan Aykryod with a TV set. The quintessential rom-com reaction to Pulp Fiction’s violence-meets-meta-comedy hysteria that swept through Hollywood during the 1990s, this hard-R flick features Cusack’s affably neurotic Martin Q. Blank murdering competition with a fountain pen and proposing marriage while dripping in the blood of Aykroyd, Azaria, and other wacky goofs who got in the way. Often times acidic toward the notion of nostalgia and teen romance, this backward-looking 1997 film still finds its inner-John Hughes long enough to mourn the passing of ‘80s high school glory while also serving as its own time capsule for ‘90s rom-com and Tarantino-lite staples. Plus, Cusack and Driver are absolutely adorable as they work through their problems, just as Cusack simultaneously works his way through the hometown’s dwindling population.

High Fidelity (2000)
Director: Stephen Frears

Then again, none of Cusack’s work has more honesty and poignancy than High Fidelity. The 2000 Stephen Frears adaptation of a Nick Hornby novel is the coming-of-age saga of a Gen-Xer who discovers how late in life that moment can be. Much like the crossroads of a music industry that has long said goodbye to vinyl and is only now on the cusp of the true digital revolution, Rob Gordon (Cusack) works at a record store specializing in actual records, a perennial hipster before that was a thing. The sometime-DJ has to come to grips with the fact that being a slacker ceased being cool after 30 or that cheating on his pregnant girlfriend Laura, prior to her abortion, is more than adequate grounds for dumping. But this is still a Cusack film, and the two are able to bond over real, hard-won emotions, underscored by a little slow-jamming goodness provided by Jack Black as the angrier, funnier slacker also manning the store. This is proof positive that even John Cusack films have to grow up and deal with romance that is anything but idyllic, even if the movie is truly ideal.  

Intolerable Cruelty (2003)
Directors: George and Ethan Coen

For those who view Valentine’s Day as the most cynically abhorrent time of the year, we have good news: the Coen Brothers likely agree with you. They’d also probably find it lovely! After all, their single, fanged romantic comedy, Intolerable Cruelty, wears its heart on its sleeve, shouting unabashed emotionalism from the top of the proverbial Everest like a beaconing Tenzing and Edmund. Of course, it does this with a tongue firmly planted in its cheek. The story of what happens when L.A.’s most ruthless divorce attorney (George Clooney) falls in love with his client’s spouse (Catherine Zeta-Jones), Intolerable Cruelty is the most Hollywood of the Coens’ catalogue since it honors the kind of old school star vehicles that used to make the studios sparkle. However, this is still a Coen Brothers movie, so there is at least one attempted murder required—leading to both stars eventually hiring the same hitman to assassinate one another. It’s simply adorable! As is Billy Bob Thorton’s pseudo-George W. Bush impression.

When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
Director: Rob Reiner

I am sure you’ve heard this one before: once upon a time, When Harry met Sally…but sometimes the best jokes bear repeating. A simple tip of the hat to the hopeless romantics in everyone, Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron’s New York minute romance takes about 12 years to get going when Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) share a cross-country road trip that dovetails into a decade-long friendship after the many coincidences and incidences pile up. Can a man and a woman be just friends? Sure, but perhaps not when they reach the point where they’re faking orgasms together in a Jewish Delicatessen. We all would like to have a little bit of what she’s having.  

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
Director: Blake Edwards

Arguably the essential romantic comedy, Breakfast at Tiffany’s is the culmination of perfect parts creating an even more perfect whole. Lighter than bubbly, and more enduring than its downbeat Truman Capote source material, Breakfast captures the intangible yearning of every great fairy tale ever told for the post-industrial, urbane world. The story of Holly Golightly, the ultimate Manhattan Good Time Girl, it could have been either Capote’s tragedy of a desperate creature named Lulu Mae losing all in her frantic climb to the social summit, or likely the sanitized poppy yé-yé chic laugher Paramount expected for its glistening Audrey Hepburn marquee. Instead, comic genius Blake Edwards reveals his unapologetic sentimentality in a movie that walks the line between farce and melodrama to one of the most satisfying happy endings of all time. And this celluloid daydream is achieved largely due to the iconic performance of Hepburn in a signature role that was the complete opposite of her previous demure good girl personas, but every bit as hauntingly metropolitan as Henry Mancini’s ethereal “Moon River” melody that drifts over the picture like a lingering perfume. The scandalous yarn of how a call-girl and a married woman’s kept man could find love in a New York rain storm is so perfect that it can wash away even the most uncomfortable undertones from Mickey Rooney’s bit playing. Sumptuously decadent and wistfully open-hearted, they simply don’t make ‘em like this anymore.

Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Director: David O. Russell

Yet, sometimes they do. Finding a high-minded, middle-budgeted romantic comedy (or dramedy), which used to be a staple of the Hollywood dream factory, has become practically impossible over the last 10 or 15 years. The industry fluctuates between micro and mountainous budgeted fare that promises big rewards, with nary a thought for anything in between. Even formulaic, safe, and faceless “rom-coms,” marketed simply on the supposed value of faces, are fading with every passing year. Thus, Silver Linings Playbook is something of a small miracle in all its dysfunctional glory. As affecting as it is inappropriately hysterical, this one came from the heart for writer-director David O. Russell. Meant to be an earnest boost of confidence for his bipolar son, Russell’s film, just like Matthew Quick’s novel, captures a beautiful clarity about understanding mental health and creates an even broader portrait for a whole generation of post-Great Recession millennials coping with diminished expectations. Because even for the wonderfully acted Pat (Bradley Cooper) and Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), two abrasive individuals who have been dealt a crummy hand by life, a silver lining is only a cha-cha away, making all the loss, mental anguish, and judging eyes in their childhood homes worth it. A celebration about the healing power of family, friends, and football, Silver Linings Playbook is the most feel-good big screen romance in years.

The Princess Bride (1987)
Director: Rob Reiner

Today, the fantasy genre is the realm of serious storytelling, which is usually dominated by men with even more serious beards. But before fantasy got so high on itself, it also served as a genre for humor, lightness, and sometimes romance. Rob Reiner found all of the above in this 1987 classic that depicts the strained courtship of Westley (Cary Elwes) and Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright). Her title is actually a formality, because she's the people's princess when assigned the role of intended bride for the dastardly Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon). Fortunately, before he can murder for his own gain, Westley returns in a Zorro mask and with a fierce reputation as the "Dread Pirate Roberts." Together, they will overcome quicksand, fire pits, the steepest hills in Florin, and rodents of unusual size (I don't think they really exist). Most of all though, it is a beautifully mushy beating heart that will make all the castle storming, all the Sicilian drinking games, and all the fun of meeting Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) and Fezzik (André the Giant) worth it. Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004)
Director: Michel Gondry

How do you get the drumming misery of a failed relationship out of your head? Easy. Erase it. The premise of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind asks you to believe that this wonderful science exists to let those who can’t help but fret on a failed romantic endeavor move on. In committing his talent to the Academy Award winning screenplay for Eternal Sunshine, Jim Carey made a successful transition into serious role after earning a boatload of cash per wacky facial expression in the 90s. At times trippy and feverishly discordant, the film is an ode to the places within the mind that store memories both big and small. It’s what you do with those memories that help shape the perception of a relationship but for Carey’s Joel, it seems as though the loss of his darling Clementine (played exceptionally well by Kate Winslet) is too much for his brain to chew on. With an extraordinary supporting cast, Eternal Sunshine examines a fictional realm we can only dream of and has us wishing that we could recount more love stories that were erased. 

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Director: Nicholas Stoller

In a reality where erasing your ex doesn’t exist, keeping the girl of your dreams out of your head can be depression inducing and seeing her on primetime television has to be down right infuriating. Jason Segal wrote himself into the perfect role as the down-on-his-luck boyfriend who’s ditched for an aging rock star. The film really has it all. Russell Brand sings. Jonah Hill makes a hilarious appearance. There’s a Dracula-based opera. And oh, did we forget to mention that Kristen Bell AND Mila Kunis share screen time? We rest our case.

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
Director: Craig Gillespie

Love isn’t always cheery rainbows and butterflies like you see in the movies. Here’s a film that grapples with people’s perception of relationships and attempts to redefine the idea of a support system. Ryan Gosling received a Golden Globe nomination for his role as Lars Lindstrom, a socially awkward individual that finds companionship in a life-sized plastic doll he names Bianca. It’s a powerful performance by Gosling but the real message of the film is conveyed through how Lars’ town is able to rally around his relationship with an inanimate object. The film has its darker moments but at its core, Lars and the Real Girl is a romantic dramedy that is lighthearted and an ideal watch for those looking to stray from the ordinary.

Groundhog Day (1993)
Director: Harold Ramis

Let’s use our imaginations and pretend you didn’t watch Groundhog Day on cable television on the actual day Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Regardless of what day in February it is, Groundhog Day is an ideal romantic comedy to watch. The film transcended an easily forgettable holiday and found something romantic in being caught in between the seasons. It was also an ingenious marketing move to corner the market on Groundhog Day, considering other holidays like Halloween and Christmas are already locked down. Residual checks for the film’s cast and crew will flow in until the end of time. So what’s all the fuss about? In one of Bill Murray’s many classic roles, he plays Phil Connors, a self-loathing TV reporter trapped in a time loop that forces him to relive Groundhog Day over and over. It’s rumored that the writers of the film intended the time loop to last more than 40 years, giving Connors just enough time to successfully court the lovely Rita (Andie MacDowell). Groundhog Day is charming, thought-provoking and if you’re in the market for a piece of movie history, the cozy bed and breakfast that was used to shoot the film was recently put up for sale. 

Garden State (2004)
Director: Zack Braff

For some, the Grammy-winning Garden State soundtrack alone is enough to make you fall in love with the next person you lay your eyes on. The hand-selected soundtrack was just one of the many reasons why Zack Braff’s writing and directional debut is widely seen as a cult classic. The former Scrubs leading man also stars in the indie dark comedy as Andrew Largeman, a fringe Hollywood actor who returns to home to New Jersey to mourn the death of his mother. Largeman heads back to the Garden State to feel something, as his life has been one over-medicated haze. In balancing the broken relationship with his father, the death of his mother and his homecoming as a middling celebrity, Largeman finds solace in Natalie Portman’s Sam, the other half to Largeman’s tortured soul. Garden State has the right amount of quotable hijinks and perfectly spontaneous displays of raw anxiety and affection to satisfy anyone in the viewing party. Like most romantic comedies, Garden State ends with the tired cliché of the airport decision, but Braff’s spin on it, coupled with this song, should be enough to stir up a tear.

Chasing Amy (1997)
Director: Kevin Smith 

Straight out of the Kevin Smith universe comes a film that pushes the boundaries of sexual exploration and on a deeper level, questions what truly constitutes love. Ben Affleck stars as Holden, a New Jersey comic book artist who falls for a lipstick lesbian from Manhattan named Alyssa (you later find out who the titular Amy is). It’s a love story unlike any other on this list not because of the nature of their forbidden relationship, but Chasing Amy digs into the underlying fears and tensions of jumping into a relationship and slowly unraveling each partner’s past. It’s a necessary game all couples eventually have to play, but Smith cuts into these emotions with care, crafting a dark and humorous take on what it means to learn how to love.

Say Anything (1989)
Director: Cameron Crowe

There's so much to love about Say Anything, and it's all been discussed virtually to death, but we'll do our best. John Cusack (yes, him again) and Ione Skye are the quintessential mismatched romantic pair during that one magical summer that nearly everyone experienced: the one between high school graduation and before college. Say Anything's timeless appeal has a lot to do with Cusack and Skye, arguably the most genuinely likable pairing ever seen in this kind of film, but it's enhanced by a supporting cast that includes the always welcome John Mahoney, a young Jeremy Piven, Joan Cusack, and Homer Simpson himself, Dan Castellaneta. Cameron Crowe's dialogue and direction make the romance feel authentic, and there are plenty of genuine laughs throughout. And then there's that soundtrack! Like the memorable tunes in Cameron Crowe's later music-centric works like Singles and Almost Famous, Say Anything's soundtrack runs the gamut between classics (the song that launched countless high school slow dances and make-out sessions, Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes") and deep cuts (The Replacements' moody, off-kilter "Within Your Reach"). Is it possible that Crowe never topped this one?  

Enjoy Valentine's Day! Hopefully Cupid hits you square in the butt! 

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The story of Noah and the Flood has been told for millennia, studied for centuries, and debated for decades. And in March, Image Comics will add a fresh voice to the conversation. Noah, a new graphic novel written by Academy Award and Golden Globe-nominated writer and director Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler) and Ari Handel and drawn by Niko Henrichon (Pride of Baghdad) will add to the fascinating exploration of this eternal story. Drawing from myth, history, and unchanging truths of the human experience, Noah offers a new perspective on the Biblical patriarch, his family, and the ill-fated world they inhabit.

In addition to the hardbound edition with a cover by Henrichon (unveiled on Tuesday by Entertainment Weekly), the lushly illustrated, 256-page graphic novel will also be available as a limited deluxe edition, signed and numbered by the creators. The Noah special edition will be oversized, with covers and slipcase bound in white linen and beautifully gold-foil-stamped with an elegant, minimalist design. The special edition will be limited to 300 copies and retail for $200. Both editions will be in stores on March 18.

A ten-page preview of NOAH is on Image Comics’ website.

NOAH is based on the first draft of the screenplay of the hotly anticipated film, starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, and Sir Anthony Hopkins. The film Noah will premiere on March 28.

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In the first of several posthumous roles, Paul Walker’s legacy lives on in the upcoming trailer for the bullets-and-concrete urban crawl, Brick Mansions.

Set in a dystopian Detroit this feels a little bit RoboCop and a little The Raid, but it’s all just so purely Luc Besson quick-and-brutal action.

In a dystopian Detroit, abandoned brick mansions left from better times now house only the most dangerous criminals. Unable to control the crime, the police constructed a colossal containment wall around this area to protect the rest of the city.  For undercover cop Damien Collier (Paul Walker) every day is a battle against corruption.  For Lino (David Belle), every day is a fight to live an honest life. Their paths never should have crossed, but when drug kingpin, Tremaine (RZA) kidnaps Lino’s girlfriend, Damien reluctantly accepts the help of the fearless ex-convict, and together they must stop a sinister plot to devastate the entire city. With stylized action featuring thrilling Parkour stunts (David Belle is the co-founder of this physical training discipline), Brick Mansions puts an entertaining twist on the action genre.

Written by Luc Besson and directed by Camille Delamarre, Brick Mansions opens April 25, 2014.

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Sid Caesar, who created live skit comedy on TV with Your Show of Shows, died today at 91.

Your Show of Shows was a groundbreaking live 90-minute comedy program that introduced Imogene Coca, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Neil Simon, Larry Gelbart, Lucille Kallen and Mel Tolkin to the world. Without Sid Caesar there would be no SNL.

Sidney Caesar was born in Yonkers, N.Y. Caesar married Florence Levy in 1943. The couple had two daughters and a son. He started his entertainment careers as a saxophonist, playing for the Charlie Spivak, Claude Thornhill and Shep Fields orchestras. Caesar first got into comedy when he was in the Coast Guard before WWII, writing sketches for a Coast Guard musical revue. That’s where people first hear Caesar do his dialects. Backstage, entertaining his fellow troops. He quickly was cast in the Coast Guard musical “Tars and Spars.” He also played it in the film version.

Caesar got hired by Columbia Pictures and made The Guilt of Janet Ames” before heading back to New York and playing the Copacabana. Sid won the 1948 Donaldson Award for the Broadway musical revue Make Mine Manhattan. Then TV called.

Sid Caesar met Imogene Coca at his television debut in Liebman’s “Admiral Broadway Revue.” Your Show of Shows debuted on Feb. 24, 1950.  NBC cut thirty minutes and renamed it Caesar’s Hour, where it was nominated for Emmys every year from 1951 to 1958, winning two.

All hailed Caesar in the fifties, but he had what he called a “20-year blackout” afterwards when he drank heavily and got addicted to pills.

Caesar starred in the Broadway musical Little Me and did the tour of Last of the Red Hot Lovers by Neil Simon. Caesar appeared in the films It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad World. As well as History of the World: Part I and Silent Movie by Mel Brooks, Grease and The Cheap Detective.

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If you’re like us, then you have probably been jamming out for days to “Everything is Awesome” from last weekend’s The Lego Movie. And for good reason: this is an incredibly awesome animated movie. As a euphoric marriage of toy licenses and trippy childlike glee realized in the only medium that could contain its vision, The Lego Movie is the second animated film in three months that has proven to be as appealing for adults as it is to children with its unbridled imagination. Also, Frozen enjoyed a milestone this weekend when it crossed $368 million domestically, making it the most successful animated film of 2013 and the third highest grossing movie at the U.S. box office from the past year. And soon enough, it will be letting it go to its own well deserved Oscar wins come March.

So, if you are starting to get the craving for more animated films that will feed your inner-child, no matter the age, then look no further. We have included on this list all of the upcoming animated movies for the next 24 months. And for the first time in forever, that sounds awesomely exciting.

How fortuitous that we are allowed to start this list with the other wonderful animated feature being distributed (in the U.S.) by Walt Disney Pictures during this awards season, The Wind Rises. The purportedly final film of Hayao Miyazaki—the writer-director of Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Ponyo—this charming aviation daydream creates its own magical lift off the screen and into every viewer’s mind with the same artistry that Miyazaki has imbued in all of his films. As his last effort, there is a bittersweet quality to this project from Studio Ghibli that has all the specialness of Disney Animation in its prime. Also, like many of those earlier animated classics, there is a shadow of controversy on this one, as it is a historical fantasy and love letter to Jiro Horikoshi, the brilliant engineer who designed the Mitsubishi airplanes used by the Empire of Japan during World War II. That leaves more than a shred of conflict for any viewer who had relatives at Pearl Harbor, but for animation enthusiasts who appreciate the art form, this wind truly does rise.

Over a decade in the making, Mr. Peabody & Sherman finally comes to U.S. theaters in March. It’s hard to fathom how long it’s taken for this fruition to be realized, as Rob Minkoff, a co-director on The Lion King, has been chasing the project since he first pitched it to Sony’s Columbia Pictures in 2003. Based off the still adored “Peabody’s Improbable History” animated shorts in the 1960s The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, Minkoff and Sony originally envisioned it as a live-action CGI hybrid, not unlike the two Stuart Little films Minkoff also directed. However, once that production fell apart, Minkoff brought the idea to DreamWorks Animation in 2006, where the animation house behind Shrek and Kung Fu Panda has finally helped realize this vision. With the vocal talents of Ty Burell as Mr. Peabody, Max Charles as Sherman, and Stephen Colbert, Leslie Mann, Ariel Winter, Allison Janney, Mel Brooks, and Lake Bell along for the ride, this project is stacked with the DreamWorks signature of star casting. And Den of Geek’s Simon Brew already has plenty of nice things to say about it in his review.

Based on the popular series of children’s books by Belgian author Gabrielle Vincent, Ernest & Célestine is a French-Belgian animated film from directors Stéphane Aubier, Vincent Patar, and Benjamin Renner that has been playing the film festival circuit, including Cannes Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival, for years. This has led to its recent nomination for Best Animated Film by the Academy Awards, and it finally having an American release with the talented vocal contributions of Forest Whitaker, Mackenzie Foy, Lauren Bacall, Paul Giamatti, William H. Macy, and Megan Mullally giving life to the story of what happens when orphaned mouse Célestine (Foy) is taken in by a cantankerous bear named Ernest (Whitaker). When all of French society wishes to see these two creatures apart, as bears are meant to eat mice, their unlikely friendship will be challenged in this heartwarming fable.

If you don’t necessarily recall 2011’s Rio, we wouldn’t blame you. Released by 20^th Century Fox, Blue Sky’s animated film followed the adorable high jinks that ensued when a male blue macaw named Blu (Jesse Eisenberg) is forced to travel to a zoo in Rio to mate with Jewel (Anne Hathaway). Also featuring the celebrity voices of Leslie Mann, George Lopez, Jamie Foxx, and Jemaine Clement, the most standout feature of Rio was that it featured the rather exotic animal protagonists of macaws—which were a late change by director Carlos Saldanha when he discovered that the chosen cuddly protagonist critter, a pair of penguins, was beginning to pop up in Happy Feet and Surf’s Up. Rio 2 continues Blu and Jewel’s story as they are happily domesticated as a pair of parents forced to travel from the safety of Rio to the wondrous Amazonian rain forest. There, Jewel will find her father, and both shall find the villainous Nigel (Clement) returning from the first film.

The title for the latest Baum-based film includes the subhead “Dorothy’s Return.” Yet, honestly between this, the new Disney franchise beginning with Oz: The Great and Powerful, rumblings that Warner Bros. will remake the 1939 Technicolor masterpiece, and Broadway’s very own Wicked prequel, it feels like we’ve never left. But Summertime Entertainment and Alpine Pictures are taking us back again in this adaptation of L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and grandson Roger Stanton Baum’s Dorothy of Oz, which chronicles Dorothy’s (Lea Michele) revisiting of old Emerald City haunts. Also included are Dan Aykroyd as the Scarecrow, Kelsey Grammer as the Tin Man, and Jim Belushi as the Cowardly Lion, thus bringing back all the favorites with a lot of star power to boost. And that star power may have to go along way (it also features Hugh Dancy, Megan Hilty, and Patrick Stewart), because one look at the animation’s quality may cause this to be a Yellow Brick Road less traveled.

Fortunately for families looking for summer entertainment that does not involve spandex and capes, DreamWorks Animation is offering a sequel to one of the best films in their entire oeuvre: How to Train Your Dragon. The surprisingly tender and emotionally resonant first entry proved that DreamWorks Animation has more up its sleeve than pop culture references. And now, the studio is ready to return to the Island of Berk for more adventures with Toothless and Hiccup. Featuring the returning vocal talents of Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, America Ferrara, Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, the gang is back together as Vikings and dragons live in co-existence, enjoying the new popular sport Dragon Racing. Sadly, that pastoral lifestyle is interrupted with war from aggressive neighbors that threatens their peace, as does the discovery of new ice dragons, including one mysterious dragon rider….who’s Hiccup’s mother?! And she’s voiced by Cate Blanchett, fresh off what will likely be another Oscar win?! Count us in. Then again, this could be said for almost everyone since How to Train Your Dragon 2 is standing poised to be the biggest animated movie of the year.

Planes is one of the more confusing animated properties bouncing around multiplexes these days. Despite being a spin-off of Pixar’s weakest brand, the anemic Cars films, they are not in fact made by Pixar but are instead a throwaway add-on license by Disney. However, this does not mean they are the product of the currently revitalized Walt Disney Animation Studios either. Rather, these films are quickies made by DisneyToon Studios, the animation house responsible for the dreadfully forgettable Direct-to-Video sequels to the WDAS classics that preyed upon unsuspecting parents in the 1990s and early 2000s. However, as the DVD market shrivels in the face of digitization, the DTV auxiliary income is not what it once was 10 years ago. Yet, Disney can still release these movies to theaters just fine with the ever-growing animation competitors who have equally diluted theatrical efforts. Enter 2013’s Planes, a passable DTV film that got a theatrical release before soaring safely above anyone’s memory. Planes: Fire & Rescue is another Pixar spin-off that got churned out even quicker for a less-than-a-year-later release. That’s always a good sign. Little is known about the project, save for that Dane Cook will be reprising his voice work as Dusty Crophopper, and Julie Bowen will be joining him as Lil’ Dip, a Super Scooper. This will undoubtedly play well for the youngest of audiences at the very least…

Stop-motion animation is something of a novelty that has remarkably taken hold as an enduring art form, especially since A Nightmare Before Christmas. Intriguingly, American studios are more willing to at least distribute this medium than the hand-drawn form. And there has not been one as intriguingly designed recently as The Boxtrolls. Based on the novel Here Be Monsters! by Alan Snow, this is a trippy vision of how an orphan boy (voiced by Isaac Hempstead-Wright) is raised and cared for by secretive, dumpster diving trolls who spend their free-time in caves. When these boxtrolls become the intended prize of an evil exterminator called Archibald Snatcher (Ben Kingsley), things get hairy for the critters. Produced by the Laika animation studio, which made Coraline and ParaNorman, this may be the subtler 2014 animated feature for less mainstream-oriented youths. It also features the voices of Elle Fanning, Toni Collette, Jared Harris, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Tracy Morgan.

Not much is known about 20^th Century Fox and Reel FX Studios’ follow-up project to last year’s Free Birds, save that it has a slightly mythological title that would sound ominous thousands of years ago, but stars the much more approachable voices of Channing Tatum, Zoe Saldana, Diego Luna, and Christina Applegate. It is also written and directed by Jorge Gutierrez, a Mexican artist and associate of Guillermo del Toro who is producing the picture. It is about a young man torn between “the expectations of his family and following his heart,” leading to him to embark on a quest of self-discovery over three fantastical worlds. More undoubtedly will be unveiled about this CG-animated film throughout the year.

When Disney acquired Marvel Entertainment’s illustrious stable in 2009, fans feared that there would be a Disney-ized version of Marvel characters. And while Marvel Studios’ brand of live-action spandexed altruism has remained chiefly in the studio’s hands, Disney CEO Bob Iger encouraged the House of Mouse side to consider other, lesser Marvel properties for adaptation, leading to Big Hero 6. As a team of Japanese superheroes, created in 1998, the super-squad was originally led by Silver Samurai (an X-Men villain who appeared in 2013’s The Wolverine). However like all super-teams, the roster has rotated. Set originally in Japan—where the heroes would face Eastern-centric horrors like the astral embodiment of the victims of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki nuclear bombings—this effort adapted by Walt Disney Animation Studios will be set in the futuristic San Fransokyo, a hybrid between San Francisco and Tokyo. There, Marvel’s child prodigy turned superhero, Hiro Hamada, and his trusty robot Baymax will find themselves in an origin story of criminal malfeasance. Joe Quesada, Marvel Entertainment’s chief creative officer, has said it retains Marvel’s “heroic arcs,” but with a Disney-flavor in the main characters’ relationship. Yet, considering that this will be the 54^th Walt Disney Animation Studios film and is a direct follow-up to the Disney Revival triple-header of Frozen, Wreck-It Ralph, and Tangled, that may be the best thing to happen to a Marvel movie in a long while.

And DreamWorks has one more trick up its sleeve for 2014 with Home, the forthcoming adaptation of Adam Rex’s children’s book, The True Meaning of Smeckday. Directed by Tim Johnson of Antz and the less-remembered Over the Hedge, Home follows the animated critter of choice these days: aliens. While being chased by an even bigger, badder alien, Captain Smek (voiced by Steve Martin) takes his alien race of Boov to Earth, however there is the problem of the current indigenous species on the planet. Thus, Smek kindly rounds up all humans for relocation, save for a resourceful young girl named Tip (Rihanna) who teams up with a bumbling invading alien named Oh (Jim Parsons). Also including the voice of Jennifer Lopez, the vocal cast seems to be a heavy factor in this one.

As a love letter to pineapple inhabiting enthusiasts everywhere, Nickelodeon and Paramount Animation shall be reuniting next Valentine’s Day for SpongeBob SquarePants 2. A sequel to 2004’s The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, this one was a long time coming, as producers weren’t sure it would ever be made. Julia Pistor threw shade on the idea of another one as early as 2004, and in 2009 SpongeBob Executive Producer Paul Tibbitt said it was possible, but wondered if SpongeBob worked best in the 11-minute short form. Yet in 2012, Philippe Dauman, president and CEO of Viacom, announced to investors that a 2014 sequel to the original film would be produced. While it has taken a little longer than that, it is now only a year away, and under the sea veterans like Tom Kenny (SpongeBob), Bill Fagerbakke (Patrick Star), Clancy Brown (Mr. Krabs), and Mr. Lawrence (Plankton) are all returning. Plus, Antonio Banderas has been cast as a live-action pirate. Nice.

DreamWorks Animation has made good use of the Madagascar franchise, and not unlike Puss in Boots, they have found another property to spin-off with its unending succession of sequels. Enter The Penguins of Madagascar, which will follow the little guys left off on that island in their own adventure. It should be noted this has no relation to the TV series currently airing on Nickelodeon (though this could change). Co-directed by Simon J. Smith of Bee Movie, the project will see the return of Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, John DiMaggio, and Christopher Knight in their vocal penguin suit bests, AND Benedict Cumberbatch and John Malkovich will be joining the festivities. Cumberbatch will be an animal-friendly CIA agent while Malkovich is playing an unspecified villain. Somehow, I feel those penguins should still be more terrified of Cumberbatch.

The closest we may ever get to a “Ghosbusters 3,” B.O.O. is a new original property from DreamWorks Animation based on an idea by director Tony Leondis: what if ghosts were the paranormal investigators and captors of evil haunters? And so it is with the government’s top-secret organization, the Bureau of Otherworldly Operations, a group so successful that the agency’s Most Wanted Haunter is taking aim to bring them down. Featuring the voices of Seth Rogen and Melissa McCarthy as the new recruits Moss and Watts (how ready made is the buddy cop material with those handlers?), and Rashida Jones, Octavia Spencer, Matt Bomer, and Bill Murray as the villainous ghost Addison Drake, the cast is stacked. Intriguingly, Murray refused to do a third Ghostbusters film, having only originally suggested that he play himself as a ghost in that movie, and now here he is as a villainous ghost. Could this be the unofficial spin-off of Venkman’s Revenge?

It feels so painful to admit the truth: the closest Pixar movie is over a year away. With the delay of The Good Dinosaur taking it out of the 2014 line-up, we are left with a two-year gap between last summer’s Monsters University and Inside Out. However, for those fearing that Pixar has lost its ambition, Inside Out’s premise alone promises the most out-there Hollywood-produced animated effort in many years. Directed by one of Pixar’s original brain trust, Peter Docter (Monsters Inc., writer on Toy Story 2, Wall-E, Up), from an original story he had that has been scripted by Michael Arndt (Toy Story 3, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire), Inside Out goes big by entering the smallest, most confusing place imaginable: the brain of a young girl. When Riley is forced to move from Minnesota to San Francisco, a cornucopia of new emotions boil to the surface of her mind, effecting every single action she makes. These include the emotions of Anger (Lewis Black), Fear (Bill Hader), Disgust (Mindy Kaling), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), and Joy (Amy Poehler). A tale that literally will take place in the battleground of a child’s mind, the next Pixar project ambitiously aims to explain from a fresh perspective why people’s emotions act the way they do. Right now, the thought of it is only bringing sounds of Poehler for us.

After the stunning success of Despicable Me 2 at the box office, Universal and Illumination Entertainment are preparing to go into overdrive as a major player in family entertainment beginning in 2015. The first of those efforts is Minions, a spin-off about the lovably adorable sidekicks from the first two Despicable Me films (there will be more). Directed by Pierre Coffin of the first two Despicable Me films and written by Brian Lynch who scripted the Puss in Boots spin-off, this follow-up acts more as a prequel than a sequel to the previous movies. It appears that the yellow henchmen have existed since the dawn of time, having served history’s most incorrigible baddies, before ineptly facilitating their demises, including the Tyrannosaurus Rex and Count Dracula. Discouraged, they have hidden in Antarctica for ages until, out of boredom and despair, they attend a villain convention in the 1960s and meet Scarlet Overdrive, an ambitious female villain seeking world domination. Minions was originally slated to come out in December 2014, but Universal was so happy with Despicable Me 2’s grosses that the distributor pushed this back for the maximum merchandising and box office potential that comes with a summer release.

Hotel Transylvaniawas the surprisingly fun 2012 animated film that featured Adam Sandler as Dracula, Kevin James as Frankenstein, and Steve Buscemi as a werewolf. Plus, it also had the voices of Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Molly Shannon, David Spade, Cee Lo Gren, Jon Lovitz, and Chris Parnell. But its real creative power most likely came from director Genndy Tartakovsky, the creator of Dexter’s Laboratory, Samurai Jack, and Star Wars: Clone Wars. Thus it is a shame that he is not directing the sequel. Greenlit shortly after its release in 2012, Sony Pictures Animation seemed eager to follow-up on its biggest hit (not counting the live-action Smurfs hybrid). However, there has not been much movement on this project since its announcement, and no director is currently attached. We would not be surprised if a delay is in the offing.

As every great cartoon is getting a CGI movie these days, it is unsurprising that the arguable greatest, Peanuts, will have its own for 2015. Coming out just in time for the 65^th anniversary of the original comic strip and the 50^th anniversary A Charlie Brown Christmas Special, the project will mark a celebration of all things Peanuts, and is even written by Charles M. Schultz’s son and grandson, Craig Schultz and Bryan Schultz, respectively. Also set to be directed by Steve Martino of Horton Hears a Who! fame, the new Peanuts movie will be animated by Blue Sky Studios at 20^th Century Fox.

After its year-plus delay, 2015 will have the unusual occurrence of two Pixar movies in the same calendar year (Finding Dory was originally slated for a November 2015 release date). Based on a story idea from its still only credited director, Bob Peterson, The Good Dinosaur pivots the amusing question of “what if?” What if the asteroid had missed Earth and didn’t wipe out the dinosaurs? Set in an alternate timeline, the dinos still rule the planet when Arlo, a teenage Apatosaurus (Brontosaurus) with a big heart, suffers a tragedy and looks for restoration through a quest with an unlikely ally, a human boy named Spot. The film was originally supposed to come out on May 30, 2014, but was pushed back last September following the removal of Bob Peterson as director and Denise Ream as producer from the project. Spun as simply being too close to the film to “crack” the its third act, Peterson’s exit has made way for John Lasseter, Lee Unkrich, Mark Andrews, and Peter Sohn to step in and temporarily work on different sections of the film. Given Pixar’s overall track record, we are more than happy to stay optimistic about what they can do with extra time to iron out the details, but there is no denying the sadness of this delay, which resulted in the termination of 67 employees from Pixar in November 2013.

Kung Fu Panda 3 continues the legendary adventures of awesomeness with Po (Jack Black), a panda with a mean tornado kick and even meaner noodle slurping skills. This Christmas-timed release for the DreamWorks Animation threequel marks the first time that a Hollywood animated film has been co-produced by a Chinese firm, in this case Oriental DreamWorks. Set to be distributed by 20^th Century Fox, it brings back Kung Fu Panda 2’s director, Jennifer Yuh Nelson, and the screenwriters of both previous films, Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger. All the original vocal talents are returning with the additions of Bryan Cranston, Mads Mikkelsen, and Rebel Wilson.

With a surprisingly strong opening weekend last month, The Nut Job earned $25.7 million in three days, paving the way for Open Road Films, Redrover Co., and ToonBox Entertainment to quickly greenlight this sequel to the effort. While I personally did not care for the previous film, its early 2014 success has proven that families appreciated this feature length exploration of Surly the Squirrel (Will Arnett) and all his furry buddies voiced by Katherine Heigl, Brendan Fraser, Maya Rudolph, and a villainous Liam Neeson. Not much is yet known about the sequel, save for its release date.

Conversely, Illumination Entertainment is laying out their next original property very thoroughly for its early 2016 release, Pets. While the title is subject to change, Illumination’s approach likely won’t: it chronicles the lives of cute animals living the good life in a Manhattan apartment building. When their owners leave for work and school, their day begins by socializing and revealing their owners’ most humiliating secrets. However, when the group’s leader, a terrier voiced by Louis C.K., finds himself displaced by his owner’s new dog Duke (Eric Stonestreet), the two are at odds quickly…and even more quickly on the street. Lost in the big city, they must rely on a fast-talking bunny named Snowball (Kevin Hart) to survive. Helmed by Chris Renaud, co-director of the Despicable Me films, and Yarrow Cheney, this is one to watch.

As the Sony Pictures Animation project that Genndy Tartakovsky passed over Hotel Transylvania 2 for, little is known about the project save for that it is based on the classic cartoon serial “Popeye.” Spinach eaters may be pleased to know (or not) that The Smurfs’ writers David Ronn and Jay Scherick have writing duties on the Sony release, which is also being produced by Imagi Animation Studios. However, as this project was previously slated for September 2014, little is still known about the movie, which has not yet cast any voices.

Fans of the Ratchet & Clank video games are about to learn how these characters first met with Rainmaker Entertainment and Blockade Entertainment’s origin film on that very subject. The film will detail how they saved the Solana Galaxy from Chairman Drek with the reliable voices of James Arnold Taylor as Ratchet and David Kaye as Clank. The film is being directed by Jericca Cleland and is purported to be released in early 2015.

And finally, there is the Warner Bros. 2015 effort, Storks. Little is known about the project, save for that it is written by Nicholas Stoller (The Muppets, Get Him to the Greek, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and is directed by Pixar’s Doug Sweetland. But considering the massive success WB had this past weekend with the over-performing juggernaut that is The Lego Movie (their first foray back into animated features), odds look good that the studio will be keen to move forward heavily with this and other animated features.

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This year, you and your loved one can spend Valentine’s Day at the movie theater, where the two of you can hold hands and kiss as you watch… RoboCop? This action remake actually isn’t the strangest film to be released on Valentine’s Day in the last few years: Valentine’s Day weekend has been host to a series of really unusual film choices that don’t at all capitalize on the holiday, but instead try to benefit either from the non-romantic, or the loners who have nobody to spend time with.

We decided to look back in time and find the fourteen most unlikely Valentine’s Day weekend releases we could think of that couples at one point considered for “date night.” Some of these have vaguely romantic shades, and some eschew romantic notions completely. And yet, a few of these films were basically perverse choices to unleash on the year’s most romantic date. Here are a few. We limited it to the last twenty five years, because that seems to be the most likely demographic for an idea like this: if you’re reading this, you probably weren’t dating in the eighties.

14. Wayne’s World (1992)

Can’t knock Wayne and Garth, as this was a beloved hit that still airs on cable for a reason. But in 1992, a full twenty two years ago, could you blame a date for rolling her eyes as her boyfriend suggested they sit through Wayne and Garth bowing to rock stars and screaming, “We’re not worthy”?

13. Sphere (1998)

No one knew what to really make of this Michael Crichton adaptation, a ludicrous science fiction thriller where, ultimately not much of consequence happens. It’s a narratively muddy, literally underwater affair with surprisingly few standout sequences, one of the many ill-advised films to ride Crichton’s Jurassic Park success to a starry green light. Nothing says "Valentine’s Day" like a movie where Dustin Hoffman leaves Sharon Stone and she actually tries to commit suicide in reaction.

12. Jumper (2008)

One of those big action films almost designed to spawn a franchise, this chase picture follows a young man who can teleport from one place to the next, only to find himself fighting off the influence of a powerful sect eager to recruit him into their crew. It’s a boys club, essentially, Hayden Christiansen fighting off Jamie Bell with Samuel L. Jackson in tow, and this sausage fest had almost nothing to offer dating couples.

11. Daredevil (2003)

The superhero boom had not yet fully begun when Ben Affleck tried his hand at playing the Man Without Fear, in a dark, violent Marvel adaptation that wasn’t serious enough for the fans, but too dark and ponderous for the non-reading comic fans. There’s a romantic element between Affleck and eventual wife Jennifer Garner as Elektra, but the heat they generated is almost entirely off-screen, to the point where their sex scene is actually omitted from the film’s Director’s Cut. At least Ben fared better on his Valentine’s Day than his buddy.

10. Gerry (2002)

Gus Van Sant’s stark, metaphysical road comedy is actually an amusing piece of outsider art, a purely cinematic take on the sort of abstraction you see on-stage. Matt Damon and Casey Affleck play two men lost in the desert who are both named Gerry and may be after the same thing. The dialogue is oblique, as is the setting and cast. It’s literally two dopes wandering around the desert, speaking in circles: surely there was a date tricked by Damon reuniting with Good Will Hunting director Van Sant into thinking this was a real deal sealer with their respective mate.

9. Confessions Of A Shopaholic (2009)

Many Valentine’s Day films rely strictly on stereotypical depictions of men as slow-burn murder machines armed to the teeth with firepower. But what do we do with a film like this, where poor Isla Fisher must demean herself as a woman who cannot part with her credit card? It’s a love affair, but one strictly between women and capitalism, and it’s gross that they tried to aim for the “female demographic” when this was released in 2009.

8. Highwaymen (2004)

Quietly, one of Jim Caviezel’s many starring vehicles was dumped into a couple hundred theaters ten years ago, giving lovers a chance to rejoice. Here, Caviezel works with The Hitcher helmer on this dopey road detective movie where the villain actually has a menacing robot hand. The scarce marketing campaign (accurately) reflected the film’s portrayal of women as slasher-film offal, and you just know there was one unsatisfied date unhappy with their significant others’ dubious choice that weekend.

7. The Wolfman (2010)

There’s some value to a horror film being the ideal material for a Valentine’s Day date. It brings you two together, makes you hold each other tight, and sometimes look into your eyes, trying to convince each other that the noise you heard had to just be a fluke and not a killer. The Wolfman, however, is not a scary movie, intent on redeeming Benicio del Toro’s growling Lawrence Talbot by making his lupine attributes heroic, attempting to maintain feeble franchise potential with his character. If you’re with a date seeing a movie on Valentine’s Day carrying an R-rating, the two of you would probably be demanding a couple of smashed heads as a result, but The Wolfman ultimately pulls it’s punches, coming across as safe oatmeal studio filmmaking.

6. The Temp (1993)

Who are the ad wizards who thought this mid-range erotic thriller would be ideal V-Day material? Timothy Hutton stars as a harried employee, and the slinky Lara Flynn Boyle is the temp working under him, interesting in blackmailing him, killing others, and casting an evil, home-wrecking smile. Well this is just romantic for no one.

5. My Favorite Martian (1999)

At the time of this film’s release, the show hadn’t aired in thirty-three years. Basically, you had to be around the age of forty to be the core audience to catch this dismal re-imagining of the popular fringe TV series. What part exactly of this story, regarding a crashed alien becoming indoctrinated into suburbia, screams “Great Date Night”?

4. Absolute Power (1997)

Clint Eastwood’s straightforward actioner begins with a bang, as a repulsive President (Gene Hackman) attempts to sexually assault a woman, then roughs her up and kills her, washing his hands of the corpse while ol’ Clint watches. The film’s views on women are typical of that of any other film in the era: seen but not heard. So when Eastwood’s enthusiastic daughter inquires about possibly helping in the case, it’s just more white noise for our hero to ignore.

3. Friday the 13th (2009)

Inexplicably, this installment ends up having tremendous success opening on the actual 14^th, sold-out crowds on dates sitting in the theater and cheering on the murder of a few TV-network hardbodies from all your favorite series. Unfortunately for them, numbers fell off sharply after Valentine’s Day at an unusual speed. People seemed to only be re-acquainted with Mr. Voorhees on a day that involves just a little bit of bumping and grinding.

2. A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)

Maybe someone can correct us, but it’s doubtful any couple would say, hey, watching Bruce Willis sleepwalk through the FIFTH installment of a franchise people were mocking twenty years ago is preferable to actually sitting and talking with my loved one, thanks.

1. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

The big kahuna, and nothing comes close. The future Best Picture winner quite confidently showed itself off by actually moving its release to a Thursday SPECIFICALLY so it could come out on Valentine’s Day. This ain’t a movie for cuddling, and it almost seems like a practical joke to see it arrive on this date. Nevertheless, the film became a huge hit, and some even found a little eroticism within the relationship between Clarice and Hannibal. These people are TOTAL weirdos.

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What happens when you cast Willem Dafoe, Matt Dillon, and Tom Berenger in the same movie? You get a bit of backwoods gumbo noir. At least that is what first-time director Chris Brinker is going for. The producer of the two Boondock Saints films has graduated to film direction and is bringing Boondock stalwart Dafoe with him.

Supposedly inspired by real events, Bad Country is the tale of what happens when one detective’s (Dafoe) investigations leads to the arrest of Jesse Weiland (Dillon), a contract killer for the seedy bayou underworld. Facing life in prison and the prospect of losing his wife (Amy Smart), Jesse cuts a deal to rat on his criminal syndicate. But what always happens to the rat or their families?

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At this point, it is hardly surprising to see Nicolas Cage in just about any upcoming film, never mind another story of him playing an ex-con looking for redemption. However, this ex-con is also under the watchful hand of David Gordon Green, the director of American gothic greats like George Washington and Snow Angels, who’s also on an upswing from his recent slew of Apatow-esque comedies with last year’s haunting Prince Avalanche.

In Joe, Cage is an ex-con who plays by the rules until he meets a remarkable kid named Gary (Mud’s Ty Sheridan). When given the prospect of playing the unlikely part of role model, Joe finds himself pulled into a moral conundrum that will hang his fate in the balance.

Joe opens April 11, 2014.

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After checking out the above instructional video, you'll learn how to perfect the Robocop dance that set clubs ablaze in the late 1980s. If nothing else it will add another move to your dance repertoire besides the Cabbage Patch.

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We, at Den of Geek, had our minds blown this past Saturday at WarriorFest -the first annual celebration of the 35th anniversary release of the cult movie, The Warriors. (That sentence doesn't make sense, does it?) The Warriors captures New York during a much more dangerous era - where gangs ruled the city and terrorized people while wheeling around on rollerskates, dressed in baseball uniforms, or sporting that sweet, sweet trim. (Let's here if for the Lizzies!) Can you dig it? In the movie, we follow the Warriors as they battle their way back to Coney Island. On Saturday at (Le) Poisson Rouge, we had a hell of a good time as we met such cast members as David "Chochise" Harris and Apache Ramos from The Orphans - while the whole event was hosted By NYC Punk Rock Icon John Joseph.

WarriorFest was a cinematic extravaganza marking the most iconic cult movie in New York history. The evening played out like the Rocky Horror Picture show - with fans screaming out their favorite lines and a several members of The Furies in attandence. 

Check out our video to confirm the Warriors came out to play-yay:

Jodorowsky's Dune arrives on March 21st, and it's difficult to maintain any kind of distance or objectivity about it at this point. Whispered about for decades, Alejandro Jodorowsky's attempt to bring Dunefrom page to screen sounds like a far more bizarre, psychedelic escapade than even Frank Herbert's legendary novels were. You can watch the latest, and final, trailer for Jodorowsky's Dune right here.

Aside from Jodorowsky himself, the names attached to the Dunemovie that was never to be is cosmic: H.R. Giger, Salvador Dali, Orson Welles, a soundtrack by Pink Floyd...for a film that never got made, there's an awful lot of evidence of its production, and director Frank Pavich's Jodorowsky's Dune is a documentary nearly as ambitious as the film it attempts to capture. March 21st can't get here soon enough. Learn more at the official Jodorowsky's Dune website!

A hat tip is in order to Badass Digest for tipping us off to this final trailer.

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Rarely is there a title more fitting than Winter’s Tale, because despite this movie’s February release date, it is already in the December of its pop culture life; a film that is so dead on arrival that it debuts in theaters buried under six feet of permafrost with a Hallmark bargain bin-ready smile frozen to its face like the most maudlin of greeting cards. Winter’s Tale is what happens when all the passion of a passion project is spent completely off-screen.

I genuinely like Akiva Goldsman. While there is still the odd Bat-fan who begrudges the screenwriter for his days in the scripting freezer, I will always find his screenplay for A Beautiful Mind endearing, and likewise know that his second collaboration with Ron Howard in Cinderella Man deserves more praise than it was given. Thus, Goldsman deciding to direct his first theatrical film earns more than enough good will all around, as demonstrated in his ability to stage a mini-Beautiful Mind reunion for Winter’s Tale with Jennifer Connelly and Russell Crowe turning in solid, if wasted, supporting work (they will get a better spotlight for a reunion next month in Darren Aronofsky’s Noah). The rest of the cast is also likewise strong with the perpetually underestimated Colin Farrell owning his early 20^th century undercut, back-and-sides coif just as much as his palpable chemistry with co-star Jessica Brown Findlay. Yet for all the talent thrown at the screen, and behind it, this story of love and loss, angels and demons, and good versus evil, plays out for adults like many a child’s fairytale: try as you might, staying awake until the end will be the biggest miracle of all.

Set primarily in 1916 Manhattan, Winter’s Tale is the kind of magical, starlight dreamscape that paints New York as a wonderland of Edwardian fog and gaslight. But it is even more enchanted than most would dare fantasize about, as wonderfully named street rat Peter Lake (Farrell) discovers when he attempts to abandon his boss and erstwhile father figure’s criminal syndicate. An orphan who washed ashore Brooklyn at the turn of the century, there has always been a touch of destiny about Lake, which enrages papa Pearly Soames (Crowe), an underworld crime lord in every sense of the word when he reveals himself to quite literally be a demon in league with Lucifer.

Fortunately, Peter is spared disaster when he is saved by an angelic white horse that upon occasion sprouts celestial wings like a Christian-friendly Pegasus. The horse is literally a gift from God (or the universe) that wants to put Peter on his path toward spiritual ascendance through the kind of coveted miracle that can only occur when one finds their intended soul mate. For Peter, this is sweetly consumptive Beverley Penn (Findlay), the sort of pure-hearted, ill-fated tragic heroine who should mandatorily appear with a box of tissues on hand. 21-years-old and never been kissed, Beverly is perfectly accepting of her impending doom with never anything less than a smile or a wistful laugh, as she offers Peter Lake a cup of tea after he breaks into her house one morning with intentions on robbing her father. Obviously, they are hopelessly in love with each other before the kettle whistles.

Peter ends up risking all to prevent Beverly’s bloodless coughing spells while Pearly plans to disobey even Satan himself to keep the star-crossed lovers separated in a convoluted plan that spans a century—all the way to winter 2014 when a permanently youthful Peter will again come into contact with a woman in need (Connelly) during the waning light of moons and stars, just as the devil comes calling for his due.

Based on the high-pedigreed 1983 novel by Mark Helprin, Winter’s Tale is as earnest in its ambition as it is in its ineptitude. Having never read the book, I imagine that the literature would explain why starlight randomly appears to be a weapon of both the Heavens and the nine layers of Hell, or even the simple mechanics of the angels and demons who only appear to haunt Lake once every century or so while he spends the decades sketching pictures of lost love in Central Park. However, on its own, the movie’s inability to shift between the supernatural and the superbly schmaltzy without tripping over its own lack of internal logic creates not the nighttime magic associated with icy nights and city lights, but a maddening jumble of directionless clichés.

The cast tries as they might to elevate the material, with Findlay trading in her Downton Abbey allure for another period piece downer that she sells with sparkling grace. Indeed, there is likely an E.M. Forster romance, or at least a Merchant-Ivory croon, to be found in the space between her and Farrell, but that is also unfortunately filled with a spirituality that blends in as seamlessly as oil does with water. Not that the fairy tale elements do not have their own charms. Crowe barks and menaces as the demonic cousin of his Les Miserables Javert, now unencumbered by vocal humiliation. He enjoys some of the movie’s best scenes alongside a truly brilliant case of stunt casting in the role of Lucifer. Sadly though, there is no miracle to be found in a movie that can never seem to marry its disparate elements together any better than when snow mixes with sewer run-off in any of the rest of the five boroughs.

Set mostly in a period where the first world war is waging on the continent of Beverly’s birth, Winter’s Tale mawkishly clings to its many digital snow flakes by suggesting that while we are all individually special, the most important battle in all of Heaven and Hell is whether this pair of beautiful anglos will be allowed to have a happily ever after. For this picture, it is all the stakes of Heaven and Hell. Unfortunately, for the audience it will be solely the latter.

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As we saw in the fourth season of Boardwalk Empire, Al Capone had Frankie Yale take out Dean O’Banion at his own flower shop. The Dean O’Banion killing ignited a turf war between New York’s interloping Italian mob and the entrenched Chicago mobs that ended on Valentine’s Day 1929 in a garage on Chicago’s North Clark Street. A lot of hearts were broken that day.

Flower shops and Valentine’s Day have a special link. Eighty five years ago, Dean O’Banion’s floral arrangement was paid off. St. Valentine’s Day in 1929 was cold. The garage at 2122 N. Clark St. had no heat. When the cops got there that morning seven guys were on ice. They had been lined up against a whitewashed wall like a firing squad. Almost a hundred bullets from submachine guns, shotguns and a revolver riddled their bodies. The biggest hit in mob history was a riddle. Everybody thought Al Capone was behind it. But Capone was in Florida.

Al Capone was battling to be the head of crime in Chicago against George "Bugs" Moran. Moran inherited the Northside Gang from Hymie Weiss after he inherited it from Dion O'Banion after his stems were clipped. Weiss was taken out in Oct. 1926. Moran and Capone did not get along. Moran called Capone "The Beast." Moran and Joe Aiello, who's family represented the Mafia in Chicago, gunned down Pasqualino Lo Lordo, one of Capone’s men, in early 1929.

Capone’s gang cased Moran’s joint by renting an apartment across the street. Capone had someone call Moran to tell him that some hijacked whiskey from Detroit’s Purple Gang would be delivered to his garage at 2122 North Clark Street. The garage was owned by Adam Hayer, one of Moran’s friends.

2122 N. Clark St. was the address of the SMC Cartage Co. Bugs Moran used the garage as a kind of headquarters, the same way O’Banion used the flower shop. At about 10:30 a.m., four men burst into the garage and announced that it was a raid. Two of the men were in police uniforms. They ordered the men to line up against a wall and then let loose. Witnesses saw the four jump into a the same kind of black Cadillac touring car that cops used. The car even had a siren.

Inside the garage, dead or dying, was Frank "Hock" Gusenberg and his brother, Peter "Goosy" Gusenberg. Hock was one of Moran’s strongmen. Along with Johnny May, an ex-safe cracker who worked as a mechanic at the garage, Albert Kachellek, aka James Clark, Moran’s brother-in-law,  Albert Weinshank and Adam Heyer, two other enforcers who also worked for Moran. The last dead guy was not a gangster. He was Dr. Reinhardt Schwimmer, an optician who got his kicks hanging out with gangsters. Ain’t that a kick in the head. Bugs Moran slept through it. But he was done in the Chicago rackets. Happy fucking Valentine’s Day.

Actually Moran and one of his men, Ted Newberry, saw the cop car pull up and decided to grab some coffee instead of shelling out for what he figured was a shakedown. Hock didn’t die in the initial gunfire. He crawled to the middle of the garage and died a few hours later.  Before he died  Police Sgt. Clarence Sweeney asked Hock who shot him and Hock insisted no one shot him. The word on the street is that the shooters were Albert Anselmi, John Scalise and “Machine Gun” Jack McGurn.

Capone’s alibi was that he was on vacation at his place on Palm Island, Fla. Capone did a stint in a Pennsylvania jail on gun possession instead of facing the cold Chicago heat, conducting business as usual from the warden’s office. There have been reports that Capone was haunted by one of the victims, James Clark, starting when Capone was in jail. Witnesses say Moran’s brother-in-law tormented Al Capone for years. Capone wasn’t the only person to see the ghost. His driver did too.

The Clark Street garage was demolished in 1967, but people still hear the sounds of machine gun fire and screams by the tree where the garage once stood. The blood-splattered bricks were sold to a Canadian businessman who opened up a gangster-theme bar with the wall reconstructed. He later sold it. Reports say the bricks were haunted. People who own the bricks supposedly die quicker than cement can dry.

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre didn’t play a big part in the first movie based on Al Capone. Little Caesar starring Edward G. Robinson and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., was made before the code in 1931. That means, they could have gotten away with more than they would have just two years later when movies started censoring themselves. Director Mervyn LeRoy didn’t use that freedom to shoot something as gory as a massacre. LeRoy used it to put a little fanocchio in Rico, touching cheeks and legs and giving loving looks at a  guy who’s gone sissy on account of a girl. William R. Burnett, who wrote the book Little Caesarwas living in Chicago during the St. Valentine’s Day massacre, but it was cinematically problematic.

The St. Valentine’s Day massacre is alluded to in Scarface from 1932 with Paul Muni as Antonio "Tony" Camonte. Muni’s guys dress as cops and do a mass whack in a garage, beautifully shot in shadows. George Raft flips a coin as Rinaldo, the guy who pops Boris Karloff’s Gaffney in his flower shop. Raft makes a paper doll out of Ann Dvorak, Tony's sister. Scarface with Al Pacino isn’t about Capone, but that snowblowing climax coulda been done in a Chicago garage. The first time the St. Valentine’s Day massacre was dramatized was in the 1958 Playhouse 90 production Seven Against the Wall. Can’t find a clip, but wanted to mention it.

The classic 1959 Billy Wilder film Some Like It Hot opens at the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. It’s the reason Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon are on the run. They saw it. Some Like It Hotalso has George Raft, now in spats, the man who dared to dance with Scarface’s sister. Wilder stages it as it was described in the papers. Of course we mainly get to see the shoes and two of those shoes are very identifiable. Spats should have gone to Miami to give himself an alibi. Raft would probably have preferred Havana. He had friends there who were friends of friends of Capone himself.

An allegory of The St. Valentine’s Day massacre also opens Dick Tracy. The heads that were grotesquely disfigured by bullets in the garage are put on full living display in the establishing shot card game. Once again, there is a new boss in town, but Flat Top is no Capone. Can’t even smoke a cigar right.

Roger Corman's 1967 film The St. Valentine's Day Massacre is great. The history’s a little choppy, but it gets the point across in big brush strokes. Jason Robards is a blast as Capone, all his lines sliding out of one side of his mouth while the other side enjoys a good Cuban. The set up of the massacre is faithful to the newspaper accounts. The dialogue of course is conjecture, but Robards’ grin when it’s all done ties it all together to a graphic and giggly conclusion. You don’t giggle at massacres?

"Snaps" Provolone was at the massacre, according to the 1991 movie Oscar. Sylvester Stallone also played Frank Nitti in Capone from 1975. Al Capone was played by Ben Gazzara in the film directed by Steve Carver. Capone was the second Al Capone movie produced by Roger Corman and the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre is all over it. Shot on the same lot, using the same cars, turning the same corners over and over again. There's this one corner during a chase scene that those cars must have passed six times. Johnny Torrio was played by Harry Guardino and Frankie Yale was played by John Cassavetes. The St. Valentine's Day massacre is shot with the usual Tommy gun flare. It’s more historically accurate than the rest of the movie.

The Untouchables was set after the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, so Brian De Palma only references it. He never gets to recreate it. According to reports De Palma was planning on making a prequel called Capone Rising where he’d shoot a version of the massacre as an allegory for the war between Capone's gang and fictitious Irish gangsters rallied by an equally fictional Irish-American cop. De Palma never made it.

So, Happy St. Valentine's Day Massacre Day. In my house we follow the Ramones or Bugs Bunny pronunciation of massacre. 

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Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCopis something of a sacred cow among fans. The 1987 film presses so many buttons that it’s almost impossible to look at it objectively anymore, which is why Jose Padilha’s RoboCopremake seemed doomed before it even hit theaters. The original RoboCopis a nearly perfect blend of action film pyrotechnics, horror movie gore, revenge flick angst, and a superhero origin story. Packed with profanity, satire, incredible sound design (good god, this movie is loud), and charismatic villains, RoboCopseemed destined for cinematic immortality and introduced a main character who practically begged for broader exploitation. Over the next 25 years, there were plenty of attempts to maximize RoboCop’s franchise potential. Whether it was the limitations of the character or the imaginations of the people involved, none of these ever quite managed to put it all together.

RoboCopis a product of its time. Fully loaded with Reagan-era cynicism and endless hallmarks from that golden age of action movie excess, there’s a razor’s edge that RoboCopmanages to walk. Neither a total nod-wink satire nor an endorsement of the film’s “future of law enforcement” tagline, RoboCopeffortlessly blends over-the-top violence with disturbingly gory practical effects and a cutting sense of humor about consumerism, corporate culture, and the media.

Oh, and those villains! In the course of the film, RoboCop eliminates an endless parade of baddies, from Kurtwood Smith’s Clarence Boddicker (whose casually reptilian utterances like “Bitches, leave” and “Just gimme my fuckin’ phone call” are delivered with such effortless abandon that they sound accidental: like the F-word equivalent of that mysterious chord that opens The Beatles’ “A Hard Day’s Night”) to Miguel Ferrer’s coke sniffing upstart corporate goon to perpetual cinematic nice guy Ronny Cox as the appropriately named Dick Jones. Throw in Clarence's gang of cartoon heavies for good measure and you’d be hard pressed to find a more colorful assortment of reprehensible assholes this side of Gotham City. Box office numbers were solid, reviews were positive, and Detroit had a new superhero.

It’s easy to see how a generation of pre-teens with cable subscriptions and/or permissive parents were able to sink their teeth into this ‘80s icon. The non-stop violence, nearly poetic use of profanity, terrifying giant robots, and a tragic, man/machine hero who wouldn’t be out of place in the pages of Marvel Comics (where he would eventually end up) were like catnip for kids of the era. With all of these elements in place, and a faintly dystopian near-future that with each passing year looks more and more prescient, it seemed like endless adventures for the hero who is “part man, part machine...all cop!” were all but assured. But many of the film’s strengths were either unable to translate to more franchise-friendly mediums (and with good reason), or the folks in charge simply missed the point.

Things got off to a reasonably good start with 1988’s RoboCoparcade game. A fairly standard shoot ‘em up platformer that nevertheless boasted some above average graphics and terrific sound design. With digitized ED-209 sound effects and cast voices, a cool Robo point-of-view target practice bonus level, and what, to the untrained ear, sounds like bad guys saying “shit!” when they get popped, the RoboCoparcade game just feels right. The gleeful violence of the film found a perfect home in this game, which sucked an infinite number of quarters out of the pockets of an infinite number of suburban boys.

From the silver screen to the arcade screen, the next logical step for a superhero like RoboCop in the post-Star Wars era was, naturally, Saturday morning cartoons and the toy aisle! RoboCop: The Animated Series and the Kenner toy line RoboCop and the Ultra Police both got going at roughly the same time. Featuring a mix of characters from the original film (Anne Lewis, Sgt. Reed, Dr. McNamara), generic toy-line-by-numbers bad guys sporting code names like “Headhunter” and “Nitro” and a few half-assed G.I. Joe rejects like “Wheels” Wilson and “Birdman” Barnes, Robocop and the Ultra Police wasn’t exactly looking for any kind of credibility or pointed satire. On the other hand, these action figures actually fired caps, because if you’ve got to get one thing right from the original film, it may as well be its ear-splitting volume. Nevertheless, the toy line did give collectors a rather cool RoboCop figure, complete with removable helmet (that reveals a fairly detailed head-sculpt) and a gun that mounts where his leg-holster would go. The animated series, on the other hand…

RoboCop: The Animated Series. Where do we even begin? Even the most late night HBO-hardened kid could have told you that in order for RoboCop to make the jump to television, in any form, much of the film’s appeal would have to be significantly sanitized. Let’s remember that this is a superhero who, in one of his first acts as a crimestopper, calmly shoots a would-be rapist squarely in the dick. While nobody was expecting the over-the-top violence, rapid-fire displays of virtuosic profanity, or even anything resembling subtlety, RoboCop: The Animated Series still fails to distinguish itself as anything more than an attempt to set Robo up for merchandising success. While faithful to a number of elements of the Robo-mythology, its devotion to one particular element proves to be its undoing, and is also one that plagues future RoboCop installments.

In the original film, it’s unlikely anyone would mistake Peter Weller’s RoboCop for Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. RoboCop’s lack of mobility is primarily out of necessity (Rob Bottin’s impressive RoboCop suit and makeup weighed 80 pounds), but it also served to emphasize the lumbering, tragic, Frankensteinian nature of the character. That ponderous, slow, methodical approach was driven home by the film’s sound design, with Robo’s thumping footsteps as much a signature of the franchise as Darth Vader’s breathing in Star Wars.

But within RoboCop: The Animated Series’ multitude of sins, we see the first indication of something which would hamper the idea of RoboCop as a truly effective franchise hero: Robo is slower than a city bus with a flat tire in crosstown traffic, and he gets his shiny metal ass handed to him at every opportunity. When he’s not too slow to avoid falling heavy objects, he’s being powered down, scrambled, remote controlled by the bad guys, or in danger of being replaced by some shinier piece of law enforcement technology (which we’ll also see in later live-action incarnations as well). For a super strong guy made of metal, it doesn’t take much to put Robo out of action. Someday, we’ll write a comprehensive article about every irritating little setback that effectively defeats and/or immobilizes RoboCop throughout his career, but...then again, we probably won’t do that. There are limits, even at Den of Geek.

Ironically, one of the the best episodes of RoboCop: The Animated Series is the one that fucks the most with the continuity of the original movie. Do you realize that the opening title sequence of this show features a cartoon version of Officer Murphy’s execution at the hands of Clarence Boddicker? Well, here Mr. Boddicker is alive and well, and you see him again in the episode “Menace of the Mind.” The odd standout aside, most episodes of the show are indistinguishable from any number of other animated TV show plots of the era, from G.I. Joe to C.O.P.S. If it's any consolation, it's far better than the virtually unwatchable RoboCop: Alpha Commando animated series that came around in 1998.

We can accept the lack of swear words and the understandable transformation of the film’s gun battles into bloodless, non-lethal laser gun affairs, seriously reminiscent of that other famous animated toy commercial, G.I. Joe. Then again, G.I. Joe managed to have the occasionally subversive episode, like the one that was a tripping balls homage to The Prisonerfeaturing Shipwreck, but I digress. In the series, Anne Lewis’ transformation from tough, gum-popping badass to an occasionally lovestruck bit of window dressing who GOES ON DATES WITH ROBOCOP is enough to send RoboCop: The Animated Series well over the line from “sanitized” to SNL-style RoboCop parody. On the other hand, RoboCop’s non-lethal weaponry is back in the new film, so perhaps RoboCop: The Animated Serieswas simply ahead of the curve.

By the time RoboCop 2rolled around in 1990, the franchise had already been confused and diluted. Paul Verhoeven was out, opting instead directed that summer’s brilliant Total Recall, and in was Empire Strikes Back director, Irvin Kirshner, with a screenplay co-written by Frank Miller. Given the first film’s tonal similarities (coincidental though they may have been) to Miller’s seminal The Dark Knight Returns graphic novel, and the man who directed the very best Star Wars film, what could possibly go wrong? Quite a bit, it would turn out.

Much like RoboCop: The Animated Series was the harbinger of Robo’s many weaknesses as an action character, RoboCop 2exposed how poorly the franchise could fare when the razor sharp wit of the first film was replaced by more on-the-nose fare and an ultimately tedious “drugs are bad” message. RoboCop 2’s best sequence remains the roll-out of potential "RoboCop 2" models, each one more terrifying and prone to malfunction than the last. The scene is played for laughs, but watching it today, the evil scientists’ quest to improve on the intangible formula that made RoboCop the character so effective can almost be seen as a metaphor for how the suits’ desperate desire to turn RoboCop the concept into a viable franchise misfired at every turn. Kurtwood Smith and Miguel Ferrer are sorely missed, as is anything resembling the title character’s growth after his breakthrough final word of the first film: “Murphy.”

Which brings us to another issue that has hampered the growth of a RoboCop franchise. The first film deals with Alex Murphy’s violent transformation from man into machine, and his painful crawl back to humanity, and really, all the rotten bastards he annihilates along the way are just there to give him something to do and keep the audience awake. By his final line in the film, Alex Murphy has appeared to, at least somewhat, regain his soul. But all future iterations of the character conveniently ignore this, either via necessity or plot device, in order to keep Robo as a monotonous robotic law enforcement machine. To keep this in strictly geeky terms, imagine if Luke Skywalker was the same whiny hothead in Return of the Jedi as he was in the original Star Wars, and you’re getting to the crux of the problem.

While the less said about RoboCop 3, the better, it’s unavoidable. It's unfair to pick on Robert Burke, the actor tasked with replacing Peter Weller (who felt that David Cronenberg's film version of, of all things, Naked Lunch, was a better career move than getting in the metal suit for the third installment), as the writing was already on the wall for this flick. Monster Squad director Fred Dekker stepped in. “I wanted to pay homage to Verhoeven and get back to the roots of what the character was all about,” he said. “I wanted this movie to be a much broader comic book action-adventure than the previous two movies had been...and because kids seem to love this character, we were also aiming for a PG-13 rating. RoboCop 3is not as violent or brutal as the other two films." The contradictory nature of this statement, from wanting to pay homage to Verhoeven’s vision to wanting to make a film suitable for kids, certainly encapsulates many of the problems, not just with RoboCop 3, but with the franchise as a whole at this point. The addition of a jetpack may help with RoboCop’s mobility issues, and as the remake has proven, making an effectivePG-13 RoboCop film is certainly within the realm of possibility, that wasn't the case with this unfortunate entry, ninja robots and all. 

Interlaced throughout RoboCop’s career were a number of comic books (of varying quality) from publishers as diverse as Marvel, Dark Horse, Avatar Press, BOOM! Studios, and Dynamite. At least Marvel’s Judge Dredd-lite 23 issue ongoing series was weirder and more violent than the cartoon it ran at the same time with. Avatar published a comic book adaptation of an early draft of the Frank Miller RoboCop 2 screenplay. Indeed, the only one that truly distinguishes itself is Frank Miller and Walt Simonson’s 1992 Robocop vs. Terminatorfor Dark Horse Comics, which is every bit as awesome as the title makes it sound (and which spawned a decent Sega Genesis game, too!). However, Robo’s comic history is a tangled web of its own, and perhaps we’ll give it a shot in a future article.

Still, In six short years, RoboCop had gone from a franchise that started out with such promise to...well...not very promising. It might just be that the character simply wasn’t built to sustain the kind of multi-media storytelling that his corporate masters envisioned for him. Robo only fared marginally better in two live-action television versions of his story.

The first, RoboCop: The Series, ran for 22 episodes, toned down the violence, and amped up the satire...to mixed results. RoboCop: The Series came from the minds of Ed Neumier and Michael Miner, writers of the first film, and the show borrowed elements from their unproduced sequel, RoboCop: The Corporate Wars. While the show had some reasonable production values for a syndicated show, ratings were poor, recognizable characters beyond Robo were noticeably absent, and the series often took bizarre turns...like the time RoboCop took on a superhero named Commander Cash, played by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

The next, RoboCop: Prime Directives, a mini-series of four feature length episodes fares little better, despite being less bashful about the occasional bit of ultra-violence. Just as RoboCop: The Seriesignores the events of the sequels, the exact relationship Prime Directives has to the previous TV series or anything beyond the first film is murky at best. While the animated series and comic books couldn’t be expected to necessarily agree with the more graphically violent films, the constant shuffling of continuity between the live-action interpretations of RoboCop help to illustrate the insurmountable problems of the first film’s legacy.

So, taking all of this into account, it’s easy to see how a studio might be willing to take a different road with the RoboCop concept. Jose Padilha’s RoboCopremake has elicited strong feelings from fans (before any had even seen a single frame of film), simply because the original is such a revered piece of genre filmmaking. And while the new RoboCopis a conflicted and not entirely effective film, there is one thing it inarguably does much better than the original: this RoboCop has all of its franchise ducks in a row, right out of the gate.

(fair warning: from here on out, there will be spoilers for the RoboCop remake)

Setting aside the toned down violence and profanity, and the decidedly unsubtle (but still effective) FOX News jabs, Joel Kinnaman’s RoboCop is a more franchise-friendly character than Peter Weller’s RoboCop ever could have been. The film itself even seems to engage in a little meta-commentary on this, as RoboCop is never sold to the public as “product” but as Alex Murphy, the heroic cop who has been transformed into a machine in order to continue to serve the community that he nearly gave his life for.

Other than the film’s middle act, where Murphy’s emotions and personality are chemically suppressed in order to make him a more effective fighting machine, there’s very little doubt that the man in the machine will eventually emerge. Murphy awakens fully (and horrifyingly) aware of what he has lost and can never regain. While this makes for a far less conflicted RoboCop film than its 1987 progenitor, it does allow the lead actor’s face and unaltered voice more prominence throughout the film and its potential sequels, as well as more “personality.” So, that issue with Murphy struggling to regain his humanity, only to accept that he’s as human as he’s going to get at the end of the original RoboCop, and then have that all be promptly forgotten in the sequels? “Fixed.” This doesn't negate this version of the character's arc in the film, but there's less room for confusion going forward.

And then there’s the mobility issue. A quick look at any of the trailers show how this sleek, “tactical” Robo is able to run at top speed, leap from high places, and essentially run circles around his Frankenstein’s monster forebear. Is it possible that previous Robo-incarnations would have taken this route were Rob Bottin’s incredible prosthetic suit not so cumbersome? Perhaps. Would it have added anything to the story other than some visual pizazz? Probably not. Does it work here? Absolutely.

What we’re left with is a film that manages to slip a few ambitious (although somewhat muddled) messages in that would be worthy of any RoboCop update, reboot or otherwise. But these same themes are equally susceptible to being as completely mishandled by future writers and directors as those in the original. However, this RoboCop is also unashamedly a PG-13 action movie, one designed specifically to sell toys, video games, and comics in order to make its deeper themes easier to swallow. The film occasionally plays like a slick TV pilot, and one could easily envision Joel Kinnaman’s RoboCop, still capable of cracking tough guy wise, going far on some adventurous cable channel’s budget.

The reboot was inevitable, really. The RoboCop concept is too good not to exploit. The original film will stand the test of time, and nothing that this new franchise can do could possibly diminish that legacy more than what the sequels and other attempts to cash in already have. RoboCop 1987 may have to remain preserved as a virtually perfect action film, but RoboCop 2014 may just prove to be a much more effective and efficient way to launch a franchise.

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We had our minds blown this past Saturday at WarriorFest -the celebration of the 35th anniversary release of the cult movie, The Warriors. The Warriors captures New York during a much more dangerous era - where gangs ruled the city and terrorized people while wheeling around on rollerskates, dressed in baseball uniforms, or sporting that sweet, sweet trim (Let's here if for the Lizzies!). Can you dig it? In the movie, we follow the Warriors as they battle their way back to Coney Island. On Saturday at (Le) Poisson Rouge, we had a hell of a good time as we met such cast members as David "Chochise" Harris and Apache Ramos from The Orphans - while the whole event was hosted By NYC Punk Rock Icon John Joseph.

WarriorFest was a cinematic extravaganza marking the most iconic cult movie in New York history. Thanks to the good folks at Rocks Off for putting the whole thing together and letting us bring the cameras! Go check out their other upcoming events!

Check out our video to confirm that the Warriors came out to play-yay:

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You can take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand, I don’t care, I’m still free, as I dream for another Serenity. Or better still, a soft Firefly reboot.

Yes, for as long as the Joss Whedon cult classic that produced only 14 episodes for Fox (only 11 of which aired) has been cancelled, there has been someone on a message board somewhere out on the Internet crying for Captain Mal Reynolds, Zoe Washburne, Jayne Cobb, and all the rest to fly back into our lives. Alas, while this may remain the wistful ramblings of a Tam sibling still dreaming of the Alliance’s cities, hope springs eternal for we browncoats. Especially when we are teased by the likes of Tim Minear, an executive producer on Firefly and now an executive producer on the also 20^th Century Fox TV-produced American Horror Story.

While discussing that series with Entertainment Weekly, the discussion inevitably had to turn to Firefly, a subject upon which Minear couldn’t resist speculating how it might fly again—but understand that that is all this is at the moment.

“I would never foreclose the possibility,” Minear told EW about the potential of a Firefly rebirth. “I would love it. It would be great. But first everybody has their respective projects that limit them from crossing over into other things. It’s just trying to coordinate everybody’s obligations so they could somehow participate.”

However, Minear soon revealed that he did think about how it could be done in a profitable manner for 20^th Century Fox TV.

“I’m completely talking off the top of my head, but there’s a show that’s been on for the last couple years that’s reinvented the form in terms of the limited series. I’m trying to think of the name of that show—Oh yes! American Horror Story! It doesn’t even have to be 13 episodes. Look how Sherlock does it….I think a limited series of some kind would work best. Something like that could also work if, say, 20^th could partner with Netflix, or another distributor. It could have its home on Fox, of course [then a second window on streaming]. A limited series would do very well, I bet.”

And it’s safe to say every DoG visitor with an amber-hued coat in their closet also would agree. Granted, Joss Whedon at the moment seems to be looking forward with his current work in the Avengers universe and beyond, but if Arrested Development can have a limited resurrection why not Firefly?

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